Damn Virus & Loss of Motivation


It looks kind of like a Christmas ornament I tried to make once with a Styrofoam ball. As ugly as that epic fail was, this virus is even less appealing.  What I find intriguing, as we pass 50 days of the sheltering at home order, is that with all the extra time on our hands, people I talk to are less motivated than ever to do anything other than watch TV and scroll their social media!
I am completely complicit in this. I happen to be an "essential", so I am still going to work every day. But when I get home it's all about the glass of wine and the boob-tube.  I'm cranky, I'm lethargic, and I want the option to go wherever I want with whomever I want BACK! I'm even pissed off that I didn't get to work from home! I should be grateful I am still getting paid, right? Well gratitude and motivation are kind of a mixed bag right now.

WHY?
I'm no psychologist, but here's my thoughts. Anxiety and worry stress us out. Not only that, but they actually take a ton of energy. Now add in the fact that maybe you are sitting at home all day working in a remote and isolated way, or maybe you aren't working at all when you know you need to be. Either way, you may not be getting the rewards we were once used to, rewards that motivate us, such as praise, recognition, paychecks, and promotions. Some people are getting paid to stay home, some people aren't getting paid a dime right now. Less reward - less motivation. Simple math. Greg has to work from home and wishes he could get back to the classroom. I have to go in to work but wish I was home. Grass is always greener, but there are things to be grateful for and things to lament. It's okay to feel both right now. Usually gratitude isn't coupled with a ginormous viral enemy chomping down the human race. Give yourself a break (and me....yes, me should give me a break too)!

Aside from reductions in work, income, socializing, etc...there is one super important thing that has been taken away from us: The perception of control. Notice I said "perception" because after all, control is an illusion. As a person of faith, it has taken me a long time to be able to relinquish my perception of control and give it over to my belief that God is in control. But whatever your beliefs are, you have no doubt come to the realization that you cannot control COVID19, or the decisions of government, or the "new normal".  That's kind of a motivator buzz-kill. We think if we can't exercise control, then why do anything? If we are at the mercy of the wind, might as well just lay on the grass and wait for the next flurry. Meh!

In addition, the whole political climate of polarity had us already projecting big time BEFORE the outbreak. Projecting, as in putting your feelings onto others (i.e. I feel I should lose weight, so I get pissed at my husband whenever I see him eating a candy bar. I am projecting my concern about my weight onto him and expecting his behavior to comply).  Now we have the added monstrosity of COVID19 and the polarity of those around us who are strict rule followers and those that feel like the world is over reacting.  You may feel really irked that people are not taking this viral threat and the shut-downs seriously. On the flip side, you may be totally irritated at what you feel is a disproportionate response to a virus. ACK! All of those projected feelings take their toll as well and NEWS FLASH - we can't control the behavior of other people either.

SO WHAT ARE SOME THINGS WE CAN DO?
1.  Put a limit on your news consumption. Fear controls and if the news makes you feel fear, anxiety, stress, worry, etc....limit your exposure. Set a limit of one news show or 30 minutes of clicking around.

2.  Set small daily goals. A) Get out of bed!   B) Eat a breakfast other than stale pizza   C) Walk to the mail box. You get the idea. Then pat yourself on the back and give yourself some positive self talk. "Girl, we did it!" or "Dude, way to put your pants on one leg at a time!"  It's okay to be okay with not being as productive as you used to be, but not feeling any sense of accomplishment can add fuel to the fire of general malaise and depression.

3.  Establish a routine. At least start the day with one. Routine can unravel like a ball of yarn with a cat attached to one end, but at least you had something to aim for. 

4.  I'm not going to use the "E" word, but do try and get some movement in. Even a short walk will not only give you a chance to laugh at the different patterns on people's face masks, but it will raise your serotonin levels and help elevate your mood. Then you might be motivated to drink a glass of water when you get home, and that might motivate you to pee which could motivate you to....ummm, I'm drawing a blank. But anyway. Move!

Okay, this back-seat shrink is hanging up her shingle for the day. Be well and carry on Boomers. We are a resilient bunch and we will get through this together!

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